Sunday, January 4, 2009

jan 4th picture

I had to make sure today's wasn't any nature pic (lol...though I took a lot of them today). It was a sunny beautiful day. Still sick. Boys still gone (wahhhh, I miss them. But with my bad cold, throat and double pink eye....probably not the best place for them to be) I sat out there and soaked up some vitamin D and tried to get some fresh air. and then I took some pics.

I picked this one as my "ONE" for today because it represents a lot to me.

My continuing search for spirituality is a biggie for me. I wasn't brought up in a religious family. I was 8 when I first starting searching. I rode a bike to the church down the street every Sunday for a couple month's...trying to figure it all out. All my adult life I have searched for some "answer". Churches. Bible study. Friends who have faith. I STILL don't know exactly what I believe. It drives me crazy..especially now that I have sweet boys who want to know who God is? Who is Jesus? What is all this about momma?". But...as three personality tests have shown about me. I am kind of split down the middle....seriously. They show I am rooted strongly in academia. What I can prove. What I can touch. Practical. Rational. This, to me in this instance, is science. And then I have the dreamer. The believer. The artist. The trier. This is my search for how, why, faith, reasons??? Why am I here?

So. The sun hit my angel just right...and made the most beautiful picture.

And I snapped it.

And it makes me happy.

Please, if you are a true believer. Don't judge me. I am a good person. I am trying to figure out what I believe and how to believe in things you feel but cannot prove. It took a lot to post this To share. to hope. Be kind.

12 comments:

  1. I'm still trying to figure out what I believe as well so your post really spoke to me. I also have the issue of wanting more PROOF, things I can touch and feel. Faith is hard for me & yet its the cornerstone of spirituality. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who struggles with this!!

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  2. Tracy such a beautiful photo and post. Yes, you aren't alone. I feel very mixed at times, too. Hope you feel better soon.

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  3. Nice post today! What a lovely angel. As for the searching - it will all come to you when the timing is right. But glad to see you ARE searching.

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  4. what a beautiful picture! Your post was beautiful, and I truly hope that you find the answers that you seek sweet and can find a peace. :) Hugs!

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  5. Tracy, your photo of your angels is gorgeous and thank you for sharing your beautiful journaling. *hugz*

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  6. Beautiful subject and photo.

    Hope (and pray!) you find what you are looking for.

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  7. Great picture! As my mom always said, "God is the love in your heart."

    Good luck in your journey!
    Rachel

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  8. The photo is lovely! I love the way the sun is hitting her. You captured the colors magnificently.

    Your posts touches me in ways I cannot describe. Many blessings on your journey. I hope you find what you need. I hope we all do! ((hugs))

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  9. Oh, that's just beautiful! I love the colors! Love your 365 project blog too, so I'll be coming back here soon:)

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  10. I love this photo and how the yellow is so vibrant and crisp.

    As far as your journey in finding what you are looking for. Faith isn't something that is simple it takes time. You should read, ask questions and pray about it. In time the answers will come. I really hope you find what you are looking for, when you do, the peace is unbelievable! {{HUGS}}

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  11. I just wanted to say that this post, more than any other I've looked at, has truly inspired me to do this Project 365. Your journaling is so heartfelt. I can't imagine how anyone could "judge" you after your honesty. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of you!

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  12. I'm with you on the searching. I was also raised without a religion so it has been up to me to explore and figure out what I believe. It's a wonderful thing, I think. Your photo is impressive; I like the angle and lighting.

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